Kurtbastian Advent Calendar Drabbles
by hideunspoken
Summary: Drabbles from the 25 days of the Kurtbastian Advent Calendar. I thought there was too much fluff with the prompts, so I decided to make them all as angsty as possible. Take extra care to read the warning labels before each drabble.
1. Day 1 - Buying a Christmas Tree

I've decided to post all the advent calendar drabbles here as well as on my tumblr (hideunspoken).  
You can go to .com for all of the fics/prompts.

Advent Calendar: Day 1

Kurt and his daughter's first time Christmas tree shopping after Sebastian's death.  
**~650 words**

**Warning: Mentions of major character death **

A/N: I plan to write every advent calendar prompt as painful and angsty as possible. Be warned.

"Daddy!" Madeline tugged on the bottom of Kurt's coat sleeve. He broke his gaze from the rows and rows of full pine trees, looking down at her. "Aren't we going to get our hot chocolate first, like always?" She looked up at him and he couldn't help but get lost in her twinkling blue-green eyes that looked so like his own.

Every glance into them was a reminder that Sebastian was truly gone. Nothing remained, not even a child of his own genes. Logically, Kurt knows that if they used Sebastian's sperm, he wouldn't have Madeline, and she really did mean the world to him, especially now. But a darker part of his mind wished that he had insisted more on Sebastian being the biological father just so Kurt would have some piece of him left behind, someone who might have inherited Sebastian's snark and challenging attitude or his critical mind and level-headedness. His train of thought only left him with a crushing weight of guilt on his chest. He tried to mentally shake it off, assuring himself he wouldn't trade Madeline for anyone in the world.

"Of course, sweetie," Kurt finally replied, taking her hand and guiding them to the little snack station.

"But are you gonna have some, Daddy?" Madeline asked when they stepped in line. "We have to buy two."

Kurt paused. He didn't usually indulge. This was Sebastian and Madeline's thing—grabbing hot chocolates before they ran through the rows, inspecting each tree for "fluffy quality" while Kurt walked a few steps behind, watching them fondly. Damn, Sebastian really would've been better at this than him. For not the first or hundredth time, Kurt wished he drove to the store that day instead of making Sebastian go.

"Sure, I'll get one. And you can even get extra marshmallows," Kurt told her. Madeline immediately bounced a little more in excitement.

"You _never _let me get extra, Daddy."

"Well, it doesn't matter so much anymore," Kurt said, shrugging his shoulders. They finally ordered their hot chocolates, starting down the first row of trees. Kurt's hot chocolate sat in his hand, untouched. After the first row, he tossed the full cup in the trash with Madeline's empty one.

"What about this one, Daddy? Or is it too small?" Madeline asked, running up a little to point at one on their left.

"That one's fine, Maddie."

"I think it's too small," she declared, grabbing Kurt's hand and pulling him into the next row. They walked for a few minutes before she spoke again, "What about this one? There's no bald spots."

"Looks good," Kurt answered. He pulled out his phone to check the time.

"Daddy!" Madeline shouted, almost indignantly. Kurt looked up to find his daughter, arms crossed and with a furious expression, but she clearly couldn't help the tears escaping from the corners of her eyes. "We're supposed to pick this out together. You don't even care how our tree looks. Papa's not here to help me or make you help, so you just need to, okay?" Kurt immediately snapped out of his self-brooding as Madeline's tears racked into sobs. He gathered her in his arms, not fitting as well as she used to now that she was nine, but it did the trick. She wrapped her arms around her dad's neck, crying into the crease between his neck and shoulder. Kurt rocked and swayed her slightly, ignoring the concerned looks from other parents and couples.

"It's okay, sweetie," he murmured into her hair. "I'm sorry, okay? Daddy's sorry. I'll help you pick it out, I promise. We'll get a really fluffy one with no bald spots, alright?" Madeline finally quieted, nodding and disengaging herself slightly from her dad's hold. Once she was back on the ground, he curled his hand around hers, pulling her forward. "Let's go find a perfect one, alright? That one was a little too small." Madeline nodded, giving Kurt a watery, painful little smile as they continued on.


	2. Day 2 - First Sticking Snow

Advent Calendar: Day 2

The first real snowfall seems to only exist to cover the blood on their lawn.  
**~700 words**

**Warning: Domestic Abuse**

A/N: And so the angst continues…

Kurt sat at the kitchen table with his cup of coffee, clasped in his non-bandaged hand. He gazed through the small window to his right, watching as the snow rushed down in flurries, finally sticking to the ground after a few false starts, just in time to fulfill a purpose.

Kurt watched as the first layer of snow evened out, just as the sun started to really rise from the horizon, illuminating the lawn. His eyes fixed on a seemingly insignificant spot by the pathway to the door, one he knew was spotted with blood under the white blanket of snow, hiding and keeping it as a secret.

He sipped his coffee, wincing to the burn at the open wound on his lip. His bandaged hand instinctively rose to his face, as it had been for the last few hours, tracing the splint covering his nose, swiping the bruises under his eyes gently. There was no way this was going without notice at work tomorrow.

Before last night the damage had been minimal (or at least, that's what Kurt told himself). Bruises on his wrists that could be easily covered by long sleeved shirts. Fingerprints wrapped around his neck that was nothing a scarf couldn't fix. Splotches on his chest and sides from being punched too hard. Once, a small fracture on his rib that healed nicely. Just to name a few. Everything could be easily covered, though. He held onto each bruise as a well-kept secret, for him alone. No one was to be burdened with what he dealt with.

Last night changed everything, though. In addition to the bruises on back and the twin hand prints on his biceps from being grabbed and picked up roughly, then thrown against the wall, he had broken two fingers. It was his own fault, really, wiggling out of Sebastian's hold to raise a hand to shove him away. His hand had barely touched Sebastian's chest before it was yanked and twisted backwards, straining his shoulder and he could feel the bones crack in Sebastian's grasp.

Retrospectively, trying to run out of the house in his pajamas and barefoot wasn't a good idea, either. Sebastian had followed, of course, and proceeded to knock him to the ground, passing the unspoken boundary and punching Kurt in the face, resulting in his broken nose, cut lip, and the blood that stained their lawn.

Kurt had no idea what excuses he could possibly make up for this tomorrow.

He had just finished his coffee, setting it on the table, and wrapping his arms around his legs, ignoring any pangs of pain from various points in his body, when he heard a shuffling behind him. His muscles seized up and he automatically froze.

"You make coffee?" Sebastian asked, his voice still gruff with sleep.

"Yeah. There's still some in the pot," Kurt answered, his voice only cracking slightly. It was your average morning exchange, no portrayal of the events of the previous night, like nothing had happened.

Sebastian grunted in response, grabbing a mug from the cabinet.

"Where'd you get the splint?"

"Hospital," Kurt replied. Sebastian simply nodded. It was clear he wasn't worried that Kurt had told them anything about how he'd broken his nose. Kurt was there, in their kitchen, just like always.

"You going grocery shopping today?" Sebastian asked, but they were never really questions. Just orders that demanded a response.

"Yes."

"Pick me up some caramel creamer."

Kurt nodded his head. There was no question. This was his life. He'd go try to make himself look as presentable as possible, drive to the store, do his shopping, maybe try to think of some good excuses as he strolls through the aisles. Then he would go on with his life.

The snow brought a sense of freshness to the day, sure, but it was deceptive as well. It covered the evidence of the prior night's events, leaving the only remaining proof painted on Kurt's skin. It represented a true beginning of winter and the holiday season, but for Kurt it was a reminder that the magical qualities of the snow had long since faded from his childhood, leaving the harsh realities of his life.


	3. Day 3 - Christmas at the Hudmel's

Advent Calendar: Day 3

Sebastian is an alcoholic and he does a poor job of hiding it on Christmas at the Hudmel's.  
**~650 words**

**Warning: Alcoholism**

A/N: This is pretty tame, comparatively. Enjoy!

"Sebastian, can I speak to you for a moment?" Kurt asked tightly as he closed the door to his dad's house. Sebastian stood from where he was chatting with Finn on the couch and dragged himself to the doorway, tie hanging loose around his neck and his eyes were already hovering half-closed.

"Yes, dear?" Sebastian responded mockingly. Kurt grabbed his empty hand and pulled him into the dining room.

"What the hell is that?" Kurt asked, pointing to the drink in Sebastian's other hand.

"It's Christmas," Sebastian replied. "One drink isn't going to kill me."

"And that's your first drink?" Kurt questioned.

"Well, I may have had one or two before this one," Sebastian said with a loopy grin, running his fingers up and down Kurt's arm. Kurt smacked his hand away with a disgusted sound.

"Goddammit, Sebastian. I left for thirty fucking minutes to get butter and you couldn't stay away from the damn liquor cabinet?" Kurt fought to keep his voice lowered. He was naïve for being surprised, really, but a small part of him hoped that Sebastian would just keep it under control for one night in front of his family. He was usually a pro at keeping his problem a secret around anyone but Kurt.

"Hey, Finn offered me a drink. It would have been rude to deny it," Sebastian defended, daring to take a sip of his drink in front of Kurt. It was that small motion that tipped Kurt over the edge. He couldn't stand to care anymore when it was so clear Sebastian didn't. There had been a few failed attempts at rehab, with sporadic AA meetings, but nothing worked. It didn't matter. Sebastian would be good for a while, but eventually Kurt would come home to his husband, half-naked and passed out on their couch, which would turn into month long binges. This was the final straw, though.

Kurt could handle it when it was just their problem. Sebastian kept his shit together at work and the few friends they had just thought he was a bit of a partier, but in front of Kurt's family? Kurt was seething.

He snatched the glass out of Sebastian's hand and made for the kitchen, Sebastian following close behind. He ignored Carole's greeting as he tossed the glass and its contents into the sink, none-too-gently before storming back into the living room.

"Do you have to be such a controlling bitch about fucking everything?" Sebastian shouted after him.

"Excuse me for not wanting to have to take care of my drunk husband on Christmas," Kurt retorted.

"I didn't fucking ask for you to take care of me!"

"You don't leave me any choice! You go and do _this _and you pass out and I have to pick up the pieces. I actually still care about you and don't want to see you fucking your life up even more."

"Oh, don't act like I don't fucking care. Why do you think I'm even here? Because _you _want me to be!"

"It's not my fault that your family is so fucked up that spending time with mine makes you want to drink. Maybe you should get over your own fucking mommy and daddy issues alone," Kurt declared, chest heaving with exertion from the fight. "You're a fucking drunk, Sebastian. You need to get over yourself."

Sebastian stood, silent and breathless like he'd been slapped. He did a self-conscious glance around the room to see Burt and Carole, and Finn and his wife staring at him guiltily, like they were intruding on something they were never meant to see or know about. He nodded to himself slowly, whisking past Kurt.

"Screw you," he muttered before slamming the front door behind him. The silence stretched on before Kurt went upstairs to the guest room without a word.


	4. Day 4 - Christmas Parade

Advent Calendar: Day 4

Kid!Kurtbastian goes to the Christmas Parade and it ends tragically.  
**~850 words**  
**  
****Warning: Kidnapping**

A/N: I don't even know with this one.

"Come on, Kurt," Sebastian whined, tugging on his best friend's arm.

"No, Sebby. Mommy said we have to stay right here to watch the parade. And besides, the adults can see us."

"No, they can't. They're too busy making googley eyes at each other, see?" Sebastian pointed to both of their sets of parents, standing just far away for them to go unheard. None of the four of them were currently glancing at their sons. "I know this really cool part where we can see the parade even better."

"I don't know…" Kurt replied hesitantly, glancing back and forth between Sebastian and his parents, sure that they could sense their plan.

"We won't get in trouble," Sebastian promised, a boyish grin spreading on his face when he saw Kurt's resolve crumble.

"Okay, but if we do get in trouble, I'm blaming it all on you," Kurt proclaimed, finally giving in and allowing Sebastian to pull him away from their designated spot.

They escaped unnoticed, circling around the crowd of people to get a little farther up the line. A blockage of space caused them to retreat back where the people were sparser and they could move freely. Sebastian led them back farther, deciding to find a street horizontal to the parade where they could find another street to bring them forward and closer again. After a few minutes Kurt finally spoke up.

"Where are you taking us, Sebby? Are you lost?" he asked, gripping his friend's hand a little tighter and glancing around them nervously. There weren't any more people around and Kurt wasn't even sure if they were heading in the right direction.

"No," Sebastian replied defiantly. "I know where the place is; I'm just a little…turned around," he admitted. It was a big feat for Sebastian to ever exude anything but confidence.

"Maybe we should just try and head back how we came," Kurt suggested.

"No, we can't," Sebastian insisted. "This spot is really great, I promise. It's where Mommy and Daddy and I watched the parade last year and I really want to show you. Mommy said it's romantic."

"Oh," Kurt blushed, closing his mouth and allowing Sebastian to lead them.

After only a few more minutes a car pulled up next to them on the sidewalk, slowing before stopping completely. A man in a dark jumpsuit and baseball cap got out, but left the car running.

"Hey, have you guys seen a little black dog running around here?" the man called out and the boys froze in their tracks as he approached.

"No," Kurt answered. The man's lips turned down in a fake frown.

"Oh. Well, do you think you could just come and look at a picture I have of him? His name's Max," the man said.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Sebastian replied, shuffling his feet away from the man and pulling Kurt with him.

"Aw, come on," the man said, stalking forward and grabbing Kurt and Sebastian's joined hands, ripping them apart and tugging them to the car.

"Get away from us," Sebastian shouted, clawing at the man's arm. The man gripped tighter in response. In the distance, a roar of cheers burst through the air, likely signaling the beginning of the parade.

"Fuck," the man spit as Sebastian reacted in just enough time to twist from his grasp when Kurt started screaming, surely drowned out by the crowd.

Freed, Sebastian began to run at high-speed, calling for Kurt to follow and hearing his screams cut off in response. He only made it so far when he realized that Kurt wasn't beside him. A glance behind him and Sebastian realized that the man still had Kurt, a piece of fabric stuffed in his mouth now as the man wrapped long plastic strips around Kurt's wrists and ankles that locked together, keeping him in place. The man had Kurt stuffed in his back seat and quickly made his way to the driver's side, glancing around swiftly and ducking into the car.

Sebastian's feet pounded against the pavement as he raced back to the car when it slowly started to drive away, like nothing was amiss. His own screams pierced his ears and he felt them down to the center of his bones. They exploded through his head, completely uncontained, and he barely drew breath as the noise went on and on, ripping through his chest and throat, escaping like he was on his final breath.

He collapsed on the pavement, finally breaking into sobs, his vision completely gone through his tears, darkness slowly replacing it. His heart pounded, threatening to break out of his chest to follow Kurt. He screamed once more, desperately into the air. It was all his fault, he knew. Kurt didn't want to go and Sebastian had forced him. And now he didn't even know his way back. He couldn't find his parents and find help. The man just took Kurt and there was no telling where they'd gone.

Sebastian curled up on the pavement, resigning himself to wither away on the sidewalk. His only hope was that maybe the man would come back and take him, too. He could only wish.

A/N: Be grateful I ended it where I did. What happens to Kurt is awful.


	5. Day 5 - Carolers

Advent Calendar: Day 5

Love Actually AU in which Sebastian pretends to be carolers.  
**~700 words**

A/N: No warnings for this one! It's actually pretty fluffy.

Sebastian's hand trembled as he pressed the doorbell with a gloved fingertip. After a second of waiting he began to panic. He had absolutely no back-up plan or explanation if Blaine answered the door. Blaine, who was his best friend and had been since high school and who happened to be recently married to the love of Sebastian's life, the only person Sebastian could ever imagine himself actually being with.

It was some stroke of luck, a Christmas miracle, perhaps, when Kurt opened the door to find Sebastian, half-poised to run, and carrying a stack of poster boards and portable ipod speakers, which he quickly set down and plugged his phone in.

"What…" Kurt began breathlessly, head cocked to the side in confusion. Sebastian raised a finger to his lips, gesturing for Kurt to stay quiet.

"Who is it, baby?" Sebastian heard Blaine's voice call from their living room. _Please don't come see. Please don't come see. Please don't come see_, he chanted in his head. Sebastian pressed play on his phone, a chorus version of White Christmas escaping from the speakers as he held up the first sign.

**Tell him it's carol singers.**

Kurt visibly swallowed before clearing his throat and turning his face to his side. "It's just carol singers," he called out. Sebastian paused for a second, verifying that Blaine wasn't dragging himself off the couch to come look before he held up the next card.

**With any luck, by next year…**

**…I'll be going out with one of these guys…**

The next sign Sebastian held up was covered in pictures of half-naked men, ripped muscles and painfully enormous cocks straining against the fabric of their too-tight boxer-briefs. Kurt covered his mouth to stifle a scandalized giggle, glancing behind him to where the hallway led to the living room. Sebastian grinned widely at the response, shaking any lingering sadness in his heart that threatened to break through.

**…But for now let me say,…**

**…without hope or agenda,...**

**…just because it's Christmas… **

**…(and at Christmas you tell the truth)… **

Sebastian cleared his throat anxiously, pulling the next sign from the stack and holding it up cautiously. He watched every line of Kurt's face as his expression melted, any trace of smile or laugh lines gone and a sadness washed over his eyes, one that Sebastian was sure mirrored his own.

**To me, you are perfect. **

Kurt opened his mouth slightly before swallowing his words, his eyebrows drawing down. He waited, silent.

**…And my wasted heart will love you until you look like this….**

Sebastian held up the next card that showed a fully nude, wrinkly old man, drooping balls and all. It was just enough to lighten the mood slightly, the corners of Kurt's mouth twitching into a cautious smile that didn't reach his eyes.

**Merry Christmas.**

Sebastian bent down to slowly lower the volume of the Christmas carols, taking one last look into Kurt's eyes before nodding to himself, turning to walk down the pathway. This was it. He gave every single fiber of his being to loving Kurt and as bittersweet as it was to admit, to open himself up to vulnerabilities, he felt a painful sense of accomplishment in getting what he wanted to say off of his chest, even if it was communicated through cue cards with Kurt's husband just a few feet away.

Sebastian was just reaching the end of the street when he heard footsteps padding behind him. He turned and his arms were immediately full of Kurt, reacting instinctually to the kiss Kurt thrust upon his lips, moving urgently and powerfully. Kurt grasped the sides of his face, clutching them together for a moment that would always be too brief, always never enough. Pulling away, Kurt held onto Sebastian's face for just a second longer before disengaging himself, stepping back slowly with his eyes still on Sebastian.

When Kurt finally turned around to hurry back into his house, back to _Blaine_, Sebastian shook the lingering tingles of phantom lips away, retreating into himself and doing little to stop the flow of tears escaping from his eyes.

"Enough," he told himself. Because for Kurt, he will never be.


End file.
